No
Christmas, Hanukkah Spirit for Israel Father's Rights Activists, Children John
Murtari "starved" to be with his son Domenic.
By Joel Leyden Israel
News Agency Jerusalem-----December
24 ....... It's Christmas Day in Israel - the Holy Land, the warm lights of Hanukkah
are now fading and a New Year is just days away. Tis the season to merry, many
say. It is the season of family. Of father, mother and children. Or is it? On
this Christmas day, on the eight days of Hanukkah how many divorced men were separated
from their children by family courts and negligent social workers in Israel, North
America and Europe? Dads, who pay child support. Dads who are loving and responsible.
Good fathers who as a direct result of gender bias discrimination have been turned
from being a full time dad into a "visitor." The
State of Israel has not reformed its Knesset Family Custody Act since it was passed
into law in 1962. Nor do many social workers in Tel Aviv, Haifa, Jerusalem,
Ra'anana, Kfar Sava and Herzliya realize the devastating effects of separating
dads from their kids. The social workers do not read the research
of the American Psychological Association, the world's largest and most
respected psychological professional organization, which clearly states that equal
access and joint custody reduce conflict between the divorced child's mother and
father. "There
is salt in the air," said one social worker to a divorced dad. "And
because of this you will not see your child more than twice a week for a few hours."
The divorced dad protested stating that his ex was doing all she could to maintain
and increase conflict knowing that the social workers knee jerk reaction would
be to punish the father with less time with his child. He said that his ex was
playing a deadly power control game using their child as a pawn. "They
are not punishing me," he said. "They are punishing my child who as
a direct result of the divorce and continued conflict is now undergoing psychological
treatment. The mother is narcissistic, the social workers are amateurs who abide
by research from 1962 and the mayor takes no responsibility." On
this day, how many children are suffering from not having been with their fathers? What
will the long term results be for these children? Low self esteem, drug addiction,
antisocial behavior and perhaps suicide. Many
divorced, Jewish fathers in Israel may now start pondering the merits of Christianity
as Shalom Biet (enforced peace in the home by Rabbis) has proven to be nothing
more than an empty farce. One
man has decided to do something about being separated from his son. His name
is John Murtari. He does not live in Israel but his care and love for his children
is no different than those of us who live in Tel Aviv, Jerusalem or Bethlehem. Murtari
who protested in the Onondaga County jail in New York by refusing to eat was released
on December 1. John Murtari was in jail for "willfully" failing to pay child
support. Murtari refused food for ten days before officials gave him a feeding
tube which was later removed. It's
was all an effort to create awareness for what he calls Parents' Civil Rights.
He says his rights were violated when his ex-wife moved across the country with
their son. Because Murtari spent thousands to visit the child, he says he was
unable to pay child support and spent six months in jail for falling behind. Murtari
claims being in his son's life should be considered more important than the money.
Murtari tells akidsright.org he will hit up several restaurants when he is released
and he plans to get on a plane in a few days to go see his son. He
went several months without food while in jail, but now John Murtari is getting
the food he was dreaming of. While in jail, he went on a hunger strike to protest
the court's decision. As a result, he had a feeding tube inserted in his stomach.
The day he was released from prison, John Murtari headed over to Friendly's for
some ice cream. He had been on a hunger strike during his sentence to protest
the court's decision. His first stop after being released was to get ice cream
at Friendly's. "Well it was just a little bit of heaven. I love peanut butter.
I love ice cream. I've been dreaming about it for the last three or four months.
I told my son, 'when I get out of here, the first thing daddy is going to get
is some ice cream.' It's been terrific," John Murtari said. Murtari said he plans
to spend the holidays with his family. "Being
in jail, the feeding tube, the agony. It's like having strep throat. It hurts
every time you swallow. But I compare that pain to the agony we've been through
with my son. And what he's been through as an innocent. He didn't deserve any
of this," Murtari said. John
Murtari endured the suffering that comes from dehydration and starvation, surprisingly,
conditions he imposes upon himself. Murtari, father to Domenic, 13, decided his
6-month sentence for child support arrears would include the “nonviolent action
of noncooperation,” to draw attention to the need for Family Law Reform and Parents’
Civil Rights. Murtari,
a faithful, loving, gentle man graciously calls it being “uncomfortable,” yet
speaks in a weak voice, saying the feeding tube he once feared was, ” now the
best thing I can imagine.” Members
of A Kids Right, the parents’ group Murtari founded, seek congressional hearings
on Family Law Reform and want to draw attention to the Civil Rights of all Parents.
They want passage of a Family Rights Act, which protects the average parent’s
right to custody of their children. Murtari
was taken to a local hospital emergency room when his heartbeat became rapid and
irregular. Plans to give him fluids by IV were halted and he was returned to the
Onodaga County Justice Center medical unit. Today a Senior Medical Administrator
at the Onondaga County Justice Center told Murtari they would not be putting in
an IV or feeding tube, as he’d been told Friday. She said there were ethical considerations
involved because he had the choice to eat and drink normally. Fearing permanent
kidney failure the administrator again asked him to drink. She said if the condition
progressed to an emergency situation they would take action and send him to an
emergency room for treatment. Murtari had no food or liquid for six months, [except
for 3 small cups of water, about 18 ounces] and small amounts of water that get
swallowed when he brushes his teeth. Saying,
“It’s not easy,” Murtari continued his hunger strike, yet prayed for guidance.
He asked that his sincere thanks are conveyed to everyone concerned about his
situation. The 6-month sentence came from Judge Bryan Hedges of Onondaga County,
New York who says Murtari is $60,000 behind in child support. Murtari disputes
that claim, and says his case is full of injustice, including the wrong jurisdiction,
travel expenses to see his son who was moved across the country not taken into
account, and perjury. But Murtari isn’t thinking about money right now, he’s thinking
about Domenic, and praying that he has and continues to do the right thing. Today
Murtari sent out a holiday's greeting. One for which the Israel News Agency
received. The INA is proud to reprint this message from a divorced dad who refused
to be turned into a victim. Who continues to refuse the label of "visitor"
to his child. "
To Good People and People of Faith, my best wishes for a very Merry Christmas,
Happy Hanukkah and a Happy Holiday Season! Please understand that our group is
not just about the Christian Faith, or that it is the only faith -- but for most
of us these traditions have strong meanings. My
apologies for falling behind in answering your emails. I hope to get everything
caught up by early January and that we can begin to execute some plans for making
reform a national issue: www.AKidsRIght.Org/archive/archive2006/0053.html
Perhaps this
Holiday season can give us time to reflect on what it takes to make reform happen.
Does one key to our success lie in our faith & willingness to sacrifice? What
stops us? Can we work to make reform a reality for our children and for others?
Here are a few thoughts and maybe we should look in a mirror first - as always,
your feedback is welcome. Please note that sometimes a lot of this stuff sounds
like pie in the sky theory. It certainly was not theory for me when I was refusing
to eat and drink voluntarily until they fed me in jail. As
I grew weaker and lay in bed, I had plenty of time to reflect on some hard reality
- "John, if these guys don't give you fluids you could lose your kidneys. How
does dialysis for the rest of your life sound? Worth it? Of course, maybe your
heart will just stop. Are you sure you want to keep this up? Will it matter? Is
it worth it? How much faith do you have?" Fortunately,
I didn't have to find out how far I was willing to go thanks to the efforts and
prayers of many of you! It's not fair! It's
Christmas morning as I type this and I'm alone in the house. My son Domenic is
not here, his flights were delayed by the big Denver blizzard -- not fair! I pick
him up at the airport tonight. A former spouse or social worker has deprived you
of any contact with your children for Christmas -- not Fair! You have grown children
that were so alienated during childhood that they want no part of you during the
holidays -- not fair! In
the jail hospital ward I met a man who was infected with HIV while a teenager
from a sex-partner who didn't care. The doctor delivered the death sentence to
him at 18. He could expect a life of 15-20 years. His time is now running out.
He has full blown AIDS and expects to die, alone, in a prison -- not fair! Any
of us, at our next check-up, could hear (and may have already heard), from the
Doctor, "Sorry, we found something on a lab test, looks like a very malignant
Cancer" - not fair! If there really was this 'loving God', how could he allow
all these things to happen!
I once read a line in a novel that really stuck with me, "even the angels look
to Earth and sigh (for the chance to experience the uncertainty and joys of physical
life?) ..." Do you know there are people who are absolutely color blind? Who live
life with the view of a black and white TV. Could you explain to them what the
color red is? Would you be willing to undergo a painful medical procedure for
the 'chance' to see life in color? Would you put the child you love through such
a procedure? Proof for the existence of an almighty God, hardly. I read a recent
article about a book by scientists 'proving' there is no God -- hardly. It's all
about faith. Who's
on the Team? Can we just all get along? One
large obstacle to public action is a lack of sense of "team" or "union." Right
now we are just a bunch of individuals nursing our own pain first, and not really
willing to make sacrifice (and experience more pain) for the sake of: those crazy
Father's Rights groups... Those crazy Women's Rights groups... Those crazy collections
of accused child abusers...yuck! Some
of the Men can't even stand to look at a scene of Mother and Child happily together
without some anger -- b$%tch! And we're sure many Women have experienced the same
after seeing their child "taken" by their former husband... creeps! Come on, admit
it you Men, deep down, you know you'd be the best parent! After all, who's the
big bad hunter-gatherer! Ladies,
that child came out of your body -- their yours, after all possession is nine
tenths of the law! We're talking a biological reality here! Please, step back
and remember the words on which our Country was founded, "...all men are created
equal." That is biological, psychological, and social nonsense. We are very "unequal."
The real message is what, "we have a right to be treated equally." To the Founders
of this Nation, we were all children of the same God, deserving of the same opportunities.
In the spiritual measure (the only real measure), we are equal and society is
at its best when it acknowledges that. A
Prayer for Family Rights: Almighty and ever-living God, hear our prayer for justice.
Give us the courage and Faith we need to meet the challenges of reform. Help all
people recognize the rights of parents to be secure and treated equally in their
ability to love their children. Inspire us to follow your example of divine love
not only for our children, but for all our brothers and sisters. Amen. Hanging
on to Hatred? There is some truth that sometimes you have to let go of hatred
before you can be effective for change. Here is an old time reading from a book
of Wisdom. Even if we don't believe, does it ring true? Can we still think of
an 'ex', social worker, or judge -- as neighbor? Sirach 27:30 Wrath and anger
are hateful things, but the sinner hugs them tight. The vengeful will suffer the
Lord's vengeance for he remembers their sins in detail. Forgive your neighbor's
injustice; then when you pray, your own sins will be forgiven. Could anyone nourish
anger against another and expect healing from the Lord? Could anyone refuse mercy
to another like himself, can he seek pardon for his own sins? If one who is but
flesh cherishes wrath, who will forgive your sins? Remember your last days, set
enmity aside; remember death and decay, and cease from sin! Think
of the commandments, hate not your neighbor; remember the Most High's covenant,
and overlook faults. Best wishes for a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and
a Happy Holiday season!" Related
Web site: Fathers4JusticeIsrael ISRAEL
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